My Intuition Turned Into a Battle
For the past few years, I’ve had a lump on my ankle, right at the edge of where my shoe rests. I always assumed it was some kind of callus caused by the rubbing of my shoe. But… it never felt quite right — that nagging gut feeling wouldn’t go away. So I finally made an appointment with the doctor to have it checked out.
The doctor found enough reason to take a skin biopsy. This was done on May 12. On May 15, I received a phone call: the pathologist had found abnormal cells in the quick scan, and I was referred to a dermatologist for further examination.
On May 21, I saw the dermatologist, and was immediately called in for a consultation. By then, the final lab report had come back: I was diagnosed with an aggressive and malignant hematoma — in other words, a malignant form of skin cancer. Surgery was scheduled immediately to fully remove the affected area. The pathologist wanted to closely examine all the tissue that was removed. The biopsy had already shown that the tumor was quite deep, 2.3 mm, with cancerous cells present. Now it was a matter of waiting for the full results. Further tests would determine whether the cancer had spread — were any organs already affected?
On June 4, my stitches were removed, but the wound reopened. I had to return to the hospital. Fortunately, the deeper layers were closed properly, only the surface had opened up. They were able to treat it with adhesive strips.
On June 4, I also had a follow-up appointment with the dermatologist to discuss the lab results. The diagnosis remained the same — melanoma — but with the good news that they had managed to remove everything from my foot. On Friday, June 6, my case would be reviewed by the medical team to determine the next steps for investigation and treatment. Now, it was just a matter of waiting.
I also told my kids. It was harder than I expected — emotions ran high for everyone. Some started crying heavily, and some hugged me tightly. Maudy, my wife, helped me tell the full story and fill in the details. Next, I still need to tell my mother and the other kids. It’s tough…because we also lost my little sister on cancer when she was 37 years old.
After the initial found cancer is removed, your mind starts spinning on its own. Thoughts jump from one thing to another — your emotions, your worries, visions of the future, your family’s financial situation if you’re no longer around, things you still want to do with your remaining time, and what this means for your work.
Headaches, tears, depression, laughter — everything comes and goes. Maudy and I had planned to take dance lessons together. But is that still something we should do? After her stroke and my accident (brain injury from falling on the ice), dancing was our way of reconnecting. But now I wonder — if I might not be around much longer, what’s the point? What would I even get out of it?
It’s now June 23. Today I was informed that I’ll need another surgery this upcoming Friday. They will remove even more skin around the area where the melanoma was. During the same procedure, they’ll identify which lymph nodes are connected to my ankle, and the surgeon will remove those for examination to see if the cancer has spread. The wound on my ankle will be too large to close normally, so they will take a piece of skin from my groin and graft it onto the wound. Afterwards, my leg and foot will be put in a cast to allow the transplanted skin to heal properly.
That’s when it will get really nerve-wracking: has the cancer spread or not? We have to wait for the lab-report.
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